Sharpen your selling chops and write disgustingly good stories that turn ordinary moments into extraordinary sales masterpieces. Notoriously melodramatic, frequently outrageous, classic over-sharer, and bloody good at keeping prospects hooked and primed to buy. 60% av. open rate, 5.6% av. CTR and frequent reciever of replies like, "Emma, this is why you're the GOAT! This was so much fun!" to - wait for it - SALES emails. LET'S GO!
💦"There's a c0Nd0M on my foot, Emma"
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**voicenote to client** "...how does Wednesday look to chat about Jan newslett- OI! *bang, bang, bang* GET AWAY FROM MY BINS!! *BANG, BANG* GO ON! - Sorry about that... some magpie keeps poking holes in our bins before the collection men arrive" And that's how it all began. 5 days before we were due to hand the keys back to our Landlady, I swooped up an obligatory 'gotta share this with my list' story. #ClassicEmma (This would be a good time to remind anyone playing catch-up that we've moved house - that's the context). About 4 pm that day I trundled to the end of my driveway and threw my arms up to the heavens in a melodramatic huff... "Bloody hell!" Our binmen had refused to take our bags. Scanning the area, I could see why. Earlier that morning, the magpie must have thought to itself... "This is a right stressful time for Emma. How can I make it worse? What is one iddy-biddy thing I could do that's small in the grand scheme of things but might just trigger the menty-B she's so expertly held at bay? I KNOW - I'll poke holes in her bins, cover her driveway in garbage, and leave an extra surprise for her later. MWAHAHAHAHAHA" The magpie is the Bond villain of this piece (not the Landlady, for a change). So, I'm in the street picking up wrappers, tissues, the odd manky tomato, and along came BRICK TOP's SISTER. BRICK TOP: our nickname for the Landlady who looks suspiciously like Brick Top from the film Snatch. Image ref below: *It's eerily uncanny She's blabbing away being uncharacteristically friendly... (If friendly means making smug AF jabs under the guise of giving a sh*t) "How are you doing, Emma? It's hard, isn't it? Moving out of a place you've come to call home. Saturday will be tough, for sure" And as I went to lift the final holey bin bag off the floor to take inside, our eyes locked and all I heard was a sloppy SLAP. *silence* We held our gaze. I dared not look away first. Her eyes slowly panned down to her boot. "There's a condom on my foot, Emma" I know you wanna know - yes, it was used #ShootMe (and I found another in the bush after she left). That magpie sheister had plucked a gaping hole that allowed the latex finger glove to escape the moment I lifted the bag from the ground. What would you do in this moment? Because it took every ounce of my being not to laugh in her face! If there's one thing you probably never want to land on your boot, it's someone else's juice-catcher. Am I riiiiiiiiight? She held my gaze. So I slowly, oh-so-slowly, bent down and peeled that sucker off her toes and gave a less-than truthful justification, "It's been a stressful time". (It didn't seem right to say, "We love to f*ck). Now, I felt no embarrassment or shame watching the baby-blocker swing before my Landlady's eyes. Not because I'm foul and uncouth - I can assure you that's the first time a SKYN of mine has been seen in public and I'll endeavour for it to be the last. PINKIE PROMISE. But because there are certain things I just can't bring myself to feel embarrassed about anymore. And others I definitely can't bring myself to feel ashamed or bad about. Call me a lunatic but it is what it is. #BiteMe I think it's all the work I've done to get comfortable with judgment and rejection. Honestly, life is too short to agonise over what a 70-year-old golddigger might think about my partner and me bumping uglies. Come on, love. Don't be so naive. In the same way, you can't twist yourself in knots about what your list or audience might think about you selling. 😍S*x is the most natural thing in the romantic world. 😍Selling is the most natural thing in the business world. (It's just that some people don't have a clue how to do either well. Fortunately, both can be taught. Unfortunately, I can only teach you one of them😜) For many of my clients, embarrassment in writing for sales normally looks like this: 😖What if I email my list and no one buys? How embarrassing! 😖I don't know how to make an offer without the 'sales-cringe'. How embarrassing! 😖If I keep selling it looks like I'm beggy and need clients. How embarrassing! 😖I sell to my list and all I get are unsubscribes. How embarrassing! 😖What if people think I'm better than I am? How embarrassing! Those fears only come from one of three places: 1️⃣Confusion = I don't know what I'm selling or who I'm selling it to. 1️⃣Know-how = I don't know how to write multiple yummy persuasive emails/posts to sell this offer over and over again. 3️⃣Reps = I haven't sold often enough to feel comfortable selling it yet. The solution? 👉Get clear 👉Fill your knowledge gap 👉Get your reps in. SELL BABY, SELL! Now, if clarity of your core message is what you need (the who, what, how, why)... Win Clients With Email is too advanced for you. But... if it's know-how you need to make 2025 the year you sell with gusto, bring the YA GONNA WANNA HEAR THIS 'tude, and write for sales often without feeling like a Spammy-Sammy... WCWE is a smokin' hot source of know-how. You can feel as comfortable about selling as I felt holding that Johnny in front of my Landlady's haunted eyeballs. Yeah. THAT comfortable. Grab it here and join me in the DGAF era! Boxing day, the price doubles. Chat soon, sweetcheeks. Emma-True-Story-Loveday x |
COPY CHOPS
Sharpen your selling chops and write disgustingly good stories that turn ordinary moments into extraordinary sales masterpieces. Notoriously melodramatic, frequently outrageous, classic over-sharer, and bloody good at keeping prospects hooked and primed to buy. 60% av. open rate, 5.6% av. CTR and frequent reciever of replies like, "Emma, this is why you're the GOAT! This was so much fun!" to - wait for it - SALES emails. LET'S GO!
I’m writing to you today from my sick bed. Snot-riddled tissues pepper my duvet, each one hoping I’ll quit re-using them 'til my finger pokes through and just get a damn fresh one.Poor sods. This makes 6 days of being what I hate most - a mouth breather. *shudders* So yeah, I’ve been pretty Moody Mary this week on account of the lack of oxygen and a complete inability to think clearly. Which is why it was NOT cool when, on Thursday, my Linkedin account got hacked! YES, I DID FREAK OUT. “Holy...
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Last week, a client in my group programme posted something I've been gagging to share with you beauties. This client experienced something impressive. My client is impressive, in and of themselves. But they weren't sure HOW to share this experience. I want you to read their first post in the group. ☝️DON'T SCROLL BEYOND IT. (Yes, that's an order) #SassySundays Because before you go on to read my thoughts and feedback, what do you notice? Think about that first, then I'll shed some light on...